Grand Theft

Give me it back.
You know what you took
Give me it back
My dignity.
You stole it
My respect.
You stole it
Give me it back.

I was a naïve thorn bush
I looked around enjoying the attention I received from my blooms
So many years I was ignored because my buds look awkward
Few saw the potential in such odd shapes
Now my blossoms bloomed
White and pink roses with sweetest scents
Silver raindrops landed on my pedals, causing my beauty to glisten
I showed off my blossoms proudly
And men admired desiring to touch and call me their own
Women were jealous of my clothing so elegant
But all heads turned
Until you plucked my blossom.
And then he plucked right after you.
You pluck and he plucked, then the next plucked
Finally all the rest plucked
I still show in the shining sun.
My blossoms still plentiful and beautiful
But something was different
Something was missing.
You took it.
Give it back.
I cannot reattach these full flowers but give them back.
Do not cast them off for them to wilt away from me
Let them wilt at my feet so they can come back into me through the soil
So that my seed can grow and memick my spendor
You took it.
Give it back.

Its not fair that you took it
Why me?
Its not fair that I lost it
Why me?
Its not fair that I cannot grow it
Why me?
Its not fair that with a simple word, a simple action, I must question every step I’ve taken since I woke up this morning…..because of you.
Why me?
Its just not fair.

Spelling Trouble

I wake up very early in the morning to see if you’re still there
You sigh
Oh my gawd it was real?!
Last night happened?!
The magic we made,
The emotions you gave
The diamonds and jade….
That was all real?!
Oh no, I’ve got to call my girls
So they can encourage my fantasies made true
I slept with him!
I want to scream to the world
I slept with him!
Then I turn back in abhor
I slept with him…
I. slept. With. Him.
My best friend.
I risked all of our friendship
On one night’s adventure
Oh no…I’ve got to get up.
I need to get out.
He can’t see all my doubts
He’ll take it personal
Its not about him
I just regret this friendship sin
I gather my things,
Throw on my clothes
All I’m leaving is the sweet scent of good love
Oh no…I’ve got to get up.
I need to get out.
My ass just said love.

Confession

Tonight I am reminded that patience is a virtue. I never believed that before. I believed in now. I believed in here. But that hurts. Because now and here I am hurt by you. I captured the moment with you. With each of you. And now I sit here hurt and wishing I had let the moment slip away. Different than anything you’ve heard before you say? Heh, clearly you’ve never heard me speak. Yes, I’ll fit the mode. Yes, I’ll be whole you want me to be but that ain't me. That’s whom you want to see. This is me. This is who I am. I speak truth that NO ONE else is willing to admit. We’ll take stands on life, climate, satire, color, rainbows, and teeth but never on what matters: me. Not you. But me. Heh, this is all about me. Each of you are puppets in my life, I focus to bring you to life. I am not your master, only your observer and reactor. I am your audience. I take what I must from you and I carry on with my life after. You will not bring the ugly out of me.

Life Isn't Fair

This is strange. I’m writing my story so that I can allow others the opportunity to not feel so lonely. But I do not know where I should be gin. Should I begin in elementary school where everyone told me I should comb my own hair? Or in middle school when I was told that my nose looked like I had run into a door but it never came back out like a cartoon, wide and flat? Or maybe being called an “Oreo” by the people I was raised to call my own? Then again, there was high school where I was alienated because I did not look like what either predominate race wanted me to look like and my one passion, soccer, I was excluded from because my parents weren’t willing to pay the school. Then, of course, there is college where a man took every bit of self-respect I had causing me to demean myself fin everywhere. And because of my forgiving spirit which my parents were so proud of he later became one of the most uplifting people in my life. Or should I discuss the “friends” who smiled in my face told me to trust in “female sexual liberation” and spread gossip about me and broke the phenomenal woman I had become.

D.C. Storm

I'm curling up in my bed watching my favorite show, Sex and the City. I keep hearing the rolling thunder state its presence in the near distance, whispering to me that its on its way to rock me to sleep. I smile and go brush my teeth. Glancing out the window I see the clouds brush over the tops of the homes it will soon soak in its glory. It may be the TV show. Or maybe its the thunder. But I am reminded of my ny friend. I miss seeing him. He stays on my mind. Not as a crush does ever throbbing through your head, but as a storm quietly looming in the distance waiting for you to go indoors to avoid its wrath. Of course, if you ignore its warnings, it will come anyway and take over your body with its thick waves of rain drops. This is what I remember of him. Ever looming in the distance. Warning me to go inside so I don't get caught up and soaked by each individual rain drop drowning me in its strong being. Thunder thriving reminding me of how might he is. He warns me again and again to go inside where I can stay safe and dry...but I never listen, I am a storm chaser.

Old News of New York

It is silly really, I had fallen for him two years ago. But I did not fall for his sweetness or charm. I fell for his mystery.

He had everything I wanted. New York, letters, sex, and dark skin. That is all I had wished I was. Thus, when I saw him on my phone, I wanted to be him. I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him. But he didn't. He wouldn't. Never. i left for a year and responded to everything he requested of me. Until I grew tired of it. Then I moved on, temporarily.

The following semester he returned to my life as a freind. A freind who had a power over me. I am so glad for God's perfect wisdom to not have me involved with anyone else prior to him. I had to learn to be near him and tell him no. Which he felt the need to explain to me. It was not until then that I realized his ever thriving power. Therefore, I moved on. He was surprised at my back bone. I realized my worth once again. He realized my sexiness adn that I was, in fact, good for a conversation. But it was too late. I was ready to keep stepping, taking the melons of my wisdom, kept in my hips, with me.

Unpretty

Where do I start? I am happy. These past few days I have been learning what it means and how to be friends with people. I have gotten to just chill and spend time with people which has been wonderful. It honestly was the last wound I had to heal. I didn't even know I had to worry about it. But I think I'm finally ready to let go of all of my past hurts. I am finally ready to be who God made me to be. Praise my good God for His perfect goodness.