Try A Little Tenderness

I want to explain to someone that I am in love. But I'm not. I want to describe how I miss someone. But I don't. All I feel is the emptiness of the bed as I lay in it. Its vacant. My arm always lays in the same place looking for a chest to rest on. It is difficult to say the least. I spend all kinds of hours up past the time I plan to go to bed simply trying to get comfortable with the emptiness laying beside me. Its difficult to go from having someone there beside you every night to have complete vacancy. No one. There is not one person for you to share the bed with. And that is the way that you are meant to do it, for now anyway. As I listen to the sad music in this empty house I see my future in Etta James' song. "All I Could Was Cry" as I thought on how I would be alone if I was not successful in this final attempt to let it all go.

I have this final chapter to close. But I am struggling to close it. Because of the struggle to close the chapter I am opening new folders of ideas. I want to simply try out all these ideas just to be sure that they will not work. Today I nearly closed this fateful chapter. I tried to talk things out and let them go. And it worked well for us to discuss being friends. He described an importance in being strictly friends. I agreed to it. He came over just to hang out before I tried one of my folders for dinner. Yet again, I was reminded why I cannot let this simply brush off the shoulder for me. "We Can't Be Friends," well, I'll have to learn because its only me.